Louder
by clareandeliforever
Summary: "You are a manipulative witch. I hate you. I hate you! I HATE YOU!" Clare felt a familiar wetness fall down her cheeks, and didn't even try to stop the tears from falling. He hates her. -What if Clare over heard Imogen and Eli talking at The Dot?-


**A/N: Alrighty. Dirt Off Your Shoulder? Most depressing episode **_**ever**_**. Eclare..and then Ziley! I didn't think it was possible for my heart to be even more broken. Ugh, Degrassi writers, why do you do this to me? ._.**

**Disclaimer: Degrassi, I do not own. I do own this forever-shipping-eclare heart, though ;3**

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><p>Clare sighed as she held her notepad in hand, trying to figure out how she was going to write an article about a play she had no idea was about. She wondered why Eli couldn't tell her. Was it because he didn't know what it was about? Well, that didn't make sense, because Eli is a very good writer and has crazy ideas. So it should be easy for him.<p>

Clare chuckled to herself as her mind went back to Stalker/Angel and how morbid it was. She didn't know what she was going to do if the play was going to be anything like… _**that**_.

Glancing up, she saw the empty school lot with selective students scattered around, happily enjoying their lives. She bit her lip, and put her notepad and the rest of her belongings in her bag before getting up from the table she's been sitting at for what felt like _ever _and making her way towards The Dot. There was no way she was getting anywhere with the article. She couldn't make it up, because Katie would be furious. She couldn't risk losing this opportunity.

Clare was glad The Dot was so close to school, she wouldn't want to miss the bell. She just wanted tea, that's all. A simple cup of tea.

The door chimed as Clare made her way inside. She walked up to the counter and waited patiently for someone to take her order.

"Clare! Hey, long time no see."

Clare turned around and forced a slight smile as Fitz came into view with a handful of dishes.

"Hey, Fitz"

Fitz smiled and walked to the other side of the counter. "I can take your order if you want"

"Okay. Uh, just a mint tea, please"

Fitz nodded and set the used dishes on the counter. As he started making the tea he said, "So, Clare, how's life?"

"Good. I got a job on the school newspaper." Clare wanted to make sure she left her and Eli breaking up out of the conversation. She didn't need any more drama in her life.

"That's great, Clare!" Fitz smiled, facing her a little bit before turning back around. "How about Eli?"

Clare mentally rolled her eyes in annoyance. "He's doing great."

Fitz turned around, fully facing her and smiled. "That's good." He handed the cup of tea to her and Clare dug in her pocket for money.

Clare exchanged her money for the tea and started to head for the door. "It was nice catching up and all, but I got to get back to school before the bell rings." Clare smiled apologetically.

"Eh, don't worry about it. I got dishes to do anyway."

Clare nodded and waved a small goodbye before opening the door to the exit.

_Well that was... awkward_, Clare thought. Clare shook her head in amusement before stepping down the steps and started heading back to school.

"I'm Clare Edwards"

Clare stopped in her tracks and looked to where the source of noise was coming from. She grew wide eyed when she saw Imogen and Eli, Imogen in something that looked like she would wear herself.

"I'm so smart. No one will ever understand you like I do, Eli"

Clare gasped and gripped her tea, not believing her eyes. Why is Imogen acting like she's her?

"Okay, that's enough." Eli said, just as Clare took a small step towards them, putting herself in full view of them, but they never noticed her.

"I never really loved you. I was only playing you because I knew you'd let me get away with it, and look, I was right," Imogen smiled.

_Wait... I don't think that. I did love Eli. What is this girl saying? _

"I did everything to make you happy! I'm still in love with you and I hate myself for it." Eli growled, getting closer to Imogen, still not noticing Clare.

Clare dropped her tea and covered her mouth with her hand, not believing the sight before her.

"And I hate you, Eli. I always have."

_No, I don't! _Clare tried to yell. But she couldn't. She was glued where she was and she couldn't speak.

"Don't say that. You don't mean it."

Clare sighed in relief and dropped her hand, ready to walk over to them.

"I do. I never loved you. You're a loser."

Clare stopped in her tracks, yet again. _Who is she to say what I think of him? She doesn't know me! _Again, Clare's mouth failed her. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She was numb.

"And you are a manipulative witch. You used me and tossed me away. I hate you. I hate you. **I hate you**!"

Clare's mouth hung agape. It was clear Eli actually felt like this towards Clare, it was written all over his face. _Are his pills working? _Clare mentally smacked herself. This is what she thinks after hearing **that**?

Clare felt a familiar wetness fall down her cheeks, and didn't even try to stop the tears from falling. He **hates **her, and this hurt more then when she left him at hospital. That night, after returning home from the dance, she cried endlessly, their break-up hitting her like a rock.

"That…that's how you feel about me?" She chocked out. She thought she had thought to herself again, but when Eli and Imogen turned their attention right to her, shock apparent on their faces, she knew that they had heard her.

Clare stepped closer to them, now only a few feet away from the bench. "Do you... do you really hate me?"

Eli stood frozen, not sure what to say. He had no idea she was there, and that makes what he said take a lot more different meaning. Her bright blue eyes captivated him, and he was reminded of how much he loved her.

"Of course he meant it, Clare-bear. He wouldn't have said it if he didn't." Eli looked over at Imogen and saw her smiling smugly at Clare, not seeming affected that Clare had heard them. He looked back at Clare, and saw the tears had stopped and her jaw was clenched, staring at Imogen.

"Imogen, leave. You're in no place to be telling me how I feel about him, nor how he feels about me. So just leave, this doesn't revolve you." Clare stated, glaring at Imogen.

Imogen stayed still, a smile still apparent on her tanned face, "Oh, Clare. When are you going to realize-"

"Imogen, leave! This is none of your business anyway. So leave! You just don't get it, and everything you said was completely and utterly **wrong**! You just... _**UGH**_!" Clare's voice was strained, and her fists were clenched. Imogen had no right to tell Eli what she did, Clare wanted to make that clear.

Imogen was still smiling slightly as she walked past them, giving Eli once last look before walking down the street. Eli looked after her, still trying to comprehend that Clare had heard him.

"She's wrong, Eli." Clare whispered, getting Elis attention. "I did love you."

Clare stared at the ground, her breathing slightly off. She maneuvered around him and sat on the bench, seeming lost in her thoughts. Eli didn't know what to say, so he just sat next to her.

They sat in silence for a little while, before Clare spoke up. "I just wanted to make that clear. I did love you, I never hated you. And I know…I know I broke my promise, but I only broke up with you because I just…I couldn't handle it. I know that's selfish and bad but…"

Eli just looked at her, and Clare wondered what was swirling around in his head.

"I just wanted you to get better, to realize what you were doing. That's why I wanted a break, just for a few days, so I could catch my breath and help you. But then you crashed Morty, I just... I couldn't handle it. I know I broke my promise, and I'm **so** sorry about that. It's okay if you hate me, but I just wanted to tell you that what Imogen said… was far from the truth."

Clare finally looked up from the ground, and wiped her face. She took a deep breath before standing up and looking back at Eli. "I'm sorry. For everything"

Clare bit her lip softly before picking up her bag she had dropped and taking a step forward to head back to the school.

Eli blinked, and before he could stop himself her reached his hand out and pulled on Clare's elbow softly. "Wait."

Clare froze, not expecting him to speak, before turning around and looking back at him. He was looking strait at her, the same look in his eyes the night of their first date.

"I don't hate you. I don't know why I said that. I guess I mean that I hated the fact that you left me, and broke your promise. But I also hated the fact that… that I don't blame you." Eli said, his eyes never leaving Clare's.

Clare tilted her head to the side, before sliding her bag off her shoulder and sitting back down next to Eli. "What do you mean?"

"I knew one of those days we were together you'd see that you were better off without me. I knew that I'd somehow mess up our relationship. Aside from the fact of Julia, that's why I didn't want to be with you in the first place."

Clare didn't know what to say at that. "Are you taking your pills?"

Eli glanced at her, confused by her random question, but answered anyway. "Hah, no. That's kind of why I blew up when talking to Imogen. She had me thinking that they were messing with my creativity and that's why I couldn't write the play."

"Well, just change medication then. Talk to your therapist." Clare said, leaning forward a little.

Eli smirked. "That's what Adam said. I guess I should, huh?"

Clare smiled, "At least talk to Bullfrog about it. But, yeah, you should"

Eli nodded, and once again, there was silence. Clare thought this talk is what was needed, and she felt the awkwardness from whenever they talked after the break-up lift.

"Eli?" Clare asked, not sure how the question she was about to ask would play out.

"hmm?" Eli said, leaning back against the bench. He turned his head to look at her, immediately seeing the nervousness on her features.

"Do you think that…maybe we could be friends? I do miss being friends with you, and hanging out with you and Adam both."

Eli smiled at her, "I think we can arrange that, yeah."

Clare sat up strait, and smiled. A real smile. One that she didn't have to fake around her mom, Alli, or around the people at school. This one was real. It didn't matter what other people thought about their friendship, she was just glad it was back.

Eli was glad their friendship was back, too. He missed hanging out with both Adam and Clare. Their friendship was something special.

They both knew that from now on, their hearts should speak louder then their heads. And they should listen to it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Imogen… she's really weird. How'd she know all the stuff about us anyway?"

"I have no idea."

"You have your own personal stalker, Eli! You should feel proud."

"Well, yay me!"

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><p><strong>Don't you just wish it ended this way? Ugh. <strong>

**Review? :3**

**Tell me your thoughts on Eli, Imogen (Imo ._.), Jake, and Clare! :D**


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